The Complete Twin Peaks

You might be a Twin Peaks fan if...

Signs you might watch a little too much, actually ;)

--You refer to Kyle Maclachlan as "Coop".

--You refer to Moira Kelly as "the fake Donna".

--You know what kind of gun James Bond had.

--You watch High School Confidential and comment on Russ Tamblyn's wonderful acting.

--You watch West Side Story and sing Twin Peaks lines.

--You refer to David Duchovny as Denise.

--You wonder when Kyle Maclachlan will show up on The X-Files as a cross-dressing FBI agent.

--You are convinced that Waxwork was actually directed by David Lynch because of all the similarities to Twin Peaks

--When someone talks about "TP'ing" a house, you ask them if they've seen the show.

--You're sickened to watch Cooper and Shelly cheat on Annie and Bobby in Don't Tell Her It's Me

--You wear saddle shoes and practice tying knots in cherry stems with your tongue.

--On roadtrips you stop at every diner and order a slice of cherry pie and a cup of coffee "as black as midnight on a moonless night"

--You name your tape recorder.

--You quote Shelley.

--You think it's cool when you get the one-eyed jack in poker.

--You instigate conversations about Tibet.

--When someone talks about President Harry S Truman, you picture Michael Ontkean.

--Owls scare you.

--You record yourself talking, play it backward, emulate that on another recording, and play that backwards, just to see if you sound like the LMFAP.

--You refuse to watch Boogie Nights because you just can't see Annie like that.

--You still refer to Billy Zane as Audrey's boyfriend after seeing Titanic 3 times.

--You laugh when a line from Twin Peaks is spoken in Titanic - to Billy Zane.

--You label Twin Peaks on your US map.

--You wear Hawaiin shirts and 3-D glasses and collect little paper umbrellas.

--You're confused when people say Twin Peaks was confusing.

--You randomly sing Julee Cruise songs.

--You mourn the death of Pete.

--You refer to David Lynch as "Gordon".

--When you see a David Bowie video, you say "look! It's Peter Jeffries".

--You compare someone you know to Josie, and snicker.

--You watched it when it wasn't in reruns.

--You know that David Lynch really enjoys comedies.

--You spend hours fighting with a friend over whether more Twin Peaks actors have appeared on Seinfeld or The X-Files.

--You watch the "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" episodes of The Simpsons over and over.

--When watching The Fugitive, you refer to The One-armed Man as "Mike".

--You know that "mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy..."

--You give thumbs up.

--You tell penguin jokes to your girlfriend.

--You know it can't wait 'til morning.

--When someone says "where's Waldo?", you say "dead".

--You order your juice freshly squeezed.

--You contemplate a theory that Twin Peaks actors always come in twos or more.

--You're surprised when series finales don't kill off all the main characters.

--You analyze Cooper as the tragic hero and know his tragic flaw isn't donuts.

--Every time you get up to go to the bathroom, you announce "I really have to urinate".

--You think carrots are a good substitute for cigars.

--You think the South won the Civil War.

--You say "damn" and "fine" in the same sentence...ALOT.

--You know who killed Laura Palmer.

--you "Bob-proof" every couch in your house by pushing it safely against a
   wall

--you practise for hours to try and perfect the Laura Palmer Black Lodge
   "finger snap"

--you have a one-armed 'MIKE' doll

--you watch TP and spout off more rehearsed lines than Rocky Horror Picture Show

--you have at least 10 movies in your collection that star TP actors...
   and they're in your collection for no other reason

--you're dating/involved with a log

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